Friday, January 21, 2011

Mommy, There's Another Baby in Your Belly!

Hubs and me in June 2009 -  I want to fit in this dress again.

Um. No, sweetheart. There's no baby in Mommy's belly. Those are just "leftovers" from your baby sister...and all the ice cream and decaf mochas I've been consuming lately.

Ok, so maybe Bean's innocent little comment is a little comical. But, it's also a good little tush kicker! I am finally ready (and able) to try and get this mommy body back in shape. You see, Bug's had a hard time gaining weight. She has refused solids for the most part, until last week. Since I've been her sole source of nutrition, I needed to let all the calories I was eating make breastmilk. Exercising to lose weight would have used up some of the calories I was taking in and, since I've had some milk supply issues, I decided that Bug getting that good breastmilk was more important than my own vanity. Well, about a week or so ago, she suddenly decided that she wanted to eat solids! She's still nursing (and I don't plan on weaning her until she's two if all goes well, but that's a whole other post...), but I'm no longer her sole source of nutrition. You know how women are told that they will lose all the weight easily because they're breastfeeding? Yeah, so not my case. With Bean, I held onto a large portion of the baby weight until she started eating solids. Then, I dropped all but about 12-15 pounds. The last little bit would not come off until I completely weaned her. Then, it fell off without even trying within a couple months. By 18 months, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight. All that said, I am well aware that I may work hard to lose this weight and not be able to lose it all until I wean her. I'm ok with that. 

I want to feel good.

For real. I've struggled with weight all my life. Of course I want to fit into my size 8 jeans! But, I am really trying to get to a place mentally where that is not my only driving force. I have been very tired and sore lately. My knees pop every time I bend down. I get out of breath just walking through a store. I've had enough! 

I don't want food to be an idol.

Through research (for this blog post, actually), I came across a forum about weight loss. Some of the women on there began talking about how food becomes an idol. One of them said, "I have been taught that anything that replaces God is an idol." BING! Light bulb totally went off. I use food for everything: comfort, pleasure, stress relief, anger management, etc. I should be turning to God for all of those things! I have never thought of food as an idol before, but it is. It so is!! Not only is food an idol, but so is this obsession I tend to get when it comes to weight loss. I am going to try to be very conscious this time and not become obsessed. 

So, what's my plan? I have started eating clean this week, thanks to Jess over at IROCKSOWHAT and her blog post about weight loss (thanks also to my friend, Jennifer at The Classic Crafter, for directing me to Jess's blog). The "diet" is not really a "diet" for me, really. As cliche' as it sounds, I really want it to be a lifestyle change. Basically, if man made it, I won't be eating it. Now, of course, I am not going to be so completely obsessed that I never indulge, but I really want to stick to this as much as possible. I'm gluten intolerant, so of course I'll be eating gluten free on top of this. I am being very aware of my calorie intake so I don't jeopardize my milk production and taking in lots of good protein and complex carbs. I will also be eating 5-6 small-moderate meals a day instead of 3 huge meals. I am proud to report that I have stuck to this for 5 full days. Ok, so it's not that big of a deal. But, it's something! It's a beginning. 

On top of eating clean, I have started preparing to run in a 10k (6.1 miles) with Hubs in July! I am so not a runner. I mean, I have pretty much flat feet and despise the thought of running with everything in me. I have always preferred an elliptical machine at the gym. BUT, I've never seen an overweight avid runner. Have you? Yeah, didn't think so. We bought a treadmill and I've done the first two workouts in week one of the Couch-to-5k running plan! I ran/walked for 2 miles. I felt INCREDIBLE afterward! I have struggled with wondering how in the world I would exercise with two babies around. They are constantly under my feet and crying at me. You know how I knew I was truly ready to commit to this? I decided that I don't care how I have to do it. I'm going to do it. I think that's the key...lose the excuses.

I won't say what my weight loss goal is in poundage. However, it's about the amount of a three year old, ha! But, honestly, I just want to run in the 10k in July and feel great by then. If I have those two things, I'm sure the weight will come eventually.

So, Bean's comment kicked me into gear. You know what I'm hoping will keep me accountable? Posting my plans on a blog for everyone to see. Yeah...that should do it. To all of you wanting to lose weight, jump in and join me! I triple dog dare you. Now you HAVE to do it. :)


  1. Amber..... I am sitting here in tears.... I cry for you and the struggle I know you have had with self image and with your "size". You know I think your beautiful at ANY weight! I cry because I wish you only knew just how special you really are! You are a terrific Mommy and Wifey, I know you to be nothing less of a great friend! You are a awesome woman of God and a great role model! I cry too for the spirit in you that you CAN DO THIS! I am so pleased about your run. Not only for setting a goal to achieve but also for the bonding experience with B. What a wonderful thing to do together! I also cry for your beautiful insight and transparentness of yourself.... I as you know have struggled seriously with my weight, and I know the hurt and frustration all too well! I too have made the decision to not use food as a idol or a solution to my issues. It was not easy but it was necessary to move to move forward in my life and my marriage! I too will not mention the amount I need to lose umm yeah a small sunday school room of three year olds :P..... I am now 16 pounds into my 50 pound goal before June 30. I know WE can do it Amber! Please keep your head up and know your blogs are a blessing to me and others! Keep them coming!!! I love you Amber!

  2. I'm cheering you on, Amber! I think posting it here is EXACTLY the way to keep you motivated... this post is inspiring!

  3. First of all, Bug and Bean are precious. You have the most adorable children. Second, I am rooting for you. You're beautiful. You're going to fit into that dress again and you're going to kick tush in that 10k.